Fostier
Overview Foster is a mysterious character known to pop up when least needed. Be assured though that when he does, someone's about to get Holocausted. He is also sometimes gay if it's a Leap day. Early Life Assuming he was born 1961, Foster was most likely responsible for the 23rd amendment to the U.S. constitution. Foster's been reported as to own at least 5000 slaves, the majority of which are dirty rats with receding hairlines. The Battle of 2022 In May of 2022, one of his most notable slaves, an avacado royaly named Coribunooostrageted, attempted to gain his his freedom by defeating Foster in the forbiden trials. After a long four and a half hours Foster arose victorious, but not without losses. Foster's dog was cursed with depression, constantly looking like he just watched two male goats try to screw each other. Foster blamed himself for his dog's depression and fled, only leaving parts of a map with each member of The Gang. True Identity While heavily debated upon by the jew nerds, like Besn, it is widely accepted that Foster is actually God himself. Only a few select memebers of The Gang have seen his true form, but the few who have claim "You're black, just like Grandpa." If true, Foster dates back much farther than his believed birthdate, possibly even as far back as 1961. Whenever a mortal comes in contact with God, they are slighly blessed with good memes, raising them above normal humans. House Foster's house is the site of the recording of the new hit album, Her Dog Ate My Sandwich. Military Service While Foster has gone by many alter egos over the years, many of which are unknown, a small amount have been decifered and corelated to his time at war. * The Hundred Years War *The Franco-Prussian War *The Great War (World War 1) *The Korean War *The Trump war (Wold War 3) While it is believed that Foster fought in wars dating as far back as the Eleventh Crusade, these are all that have been confirmed. Aliases Some of the forgotten names of Foster include: *Professor Booty/Beute/Butin (depending on which phase of evolution he may use a different language) *God *Rat *Slim Papi *Spider-Man 2 Nationality Until recently, Foster's nationality was a mystery, but with the recent light of his war time experiences, it has been revealed that God himself may in fact be French. This is due to the high importance of the French in The Hundred Years War, The Franco Prussian War, and World War One, along with a French Battalion being involved in the Korean War, it's not just possible but even likely that God may be French. Summoning Ever since The Battle of 2022, Foster has reamined hidden, only popping up on special, seemingly random occasions. Despite this, many have theorized about possible methods of summoning him. Most scholars believe that one way of summoning Foster is by beating a buff black man's booty with an eel that has been licked by no less that 14 Jews. Some less brainy, more spiritual sources claim that if The Dugeonmaster rolls a 32 on an enchanted 100 sided die, resulting in the child having a seizure (parts 1, 2, or 4, but never 3) there is a 0.00115473441% chance that Foster may appear. If Foster does not appear, and instead a low, metal like groan of the Dr. Suess's One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, where each "fish" is replaced by the word "foot" is heard, abandon the game, you have summoned another, far more evil creature. Hobbies Some of the hobbies Foster has been gracious enough to reveal include making hit albums, bullying/cyberbullying Besn, and Holocausting kiddos. Sexuality Foster is purely straight, but he has the passive ability to turn every man around him instantly gay for his divine gentalia. Band Performances Foster has recently partnered with Corbin under the band name of 2Real. Whenever 2Real releases a new album, the number in their name increases.